Davita's Requirements for a Relationship

My list may be short, but try leaving one of my requirements out of the relationship and see what happens. Presented in alphabetical order:

Compromise

"Sure--that's fair. I'll ask first and give you a break from seeing me all dolled up every night."

You just cannot always have it your way--not in a relationship. It isn't two when it is all "me," "mine," and "my." You need to give a little to get a little (ouch! cliché'!).

Honesty

"Dear? Do you know that when I tell you that I want to get into your pants that I mean it both figuratively and literally?"

I guess honesty is the most important in a relationship. It means a lot to your partner; It should mean a lot to you. It should already be a part of your value system, but it actually takes a lot of courage to be able to pull it off.

Honesty needs to be tempered with tact and timing. You need to be careful about how and when you unload a "bad" truth.

One spouse was talking with me about this. She said that she discovered her SO's clothes and immediately thought she was being cheated on. She was furious. After getting to the truth, she was still upset. Here her spouse had lied about such an intimate aspect. What else was being concealed or lied about? This spouse still gets upset when she thinks of that time. I have heard others talk about the same feelings. There is no good that comes from not being as honest as possible. Just in case this point on honesty is not getting through, talk to Marri about how she felt.

Loyalty

"Who me? Know her?"

This goes along with not being a one-sided relationship. It's tough to have enduring relationships when they fall with every problem. Just common sense that a relationship, to last, requires you stick up for each other and support each other.

Trust

"Sure dear; go ahead. Enjoy your night out with the girls."

Trust is usually earned, but sometimes it is just given. No matter why you have gotten it, or you gave it, you have expectations. You expect the trust to be sincere when gotten and you expect it to be honored when given. Easy huh? Well the world is grey--not black and white. Just watch those times and limit them. If you're having a tough time deciding what to do, then maybe it's not right or you just need to "check in" first.

I bet some of you are saying "too wimpy," "get a backbone," and other things. Well? Trust is not just all about you--remember those expectations?

What happened to LOVE??!!

Who said this was about loving relationships? Love isn't a requirement--it just happens to either be there or not. If it's there--good; if it grows into the relationship--good. If it's there and you do things right; it will endure with the relationship. Can the relationship change and there still be love in it? Sure just as the love can change and the relationship endures.