(c) 5/1998 - 1/2012
How Do I Shop in a Store?
Page 1 (links verified 1/17/11)
Try Before I Buy?
I am shopping pretty openly, but I rarely try things on. I do have my stores where I can though. I even have a few "normal" friends that shop with me. Before I get into the discussions, at the very end of the page is a list of sites that help us TGs find places to shop.
Just a little note about the pictures. The petticoat pictures pre-date my going out en fem, hence no face.
We all want to
be good shoppers and want the convenience of finding
the right item before we leave the store. Well in the
same breath, we know our circumstances are different
that most people, making it difficult at best to be
able to try before we buy. However, it doesn't always
have to be difficult or impossible; it just requires
some planning and coordination. Here's how it goes--at
least how I have worked it out with a couple boutiques.
First a few basic rules:
- Have a plan for what you are doing. Do not start this without knowing what you want and how you expect it to work. This will help your confidence and will show when you execute the plan.
- You may have to explain why you need extra care, but remember you are another paying customer wanting common courtesies afforded others. Explaining can help things go smoother (spoken like an optimist). Eventually someone will know why anyway.
- When talking with the store personnel, they need a name. This makes you more real and gives them a reference for now and later. I give my first name and this has proven to be enough.
- Don't be apologetic; don't be terrified; don't be negative about yourself in any way. You are not doing anything wrong so why be down on yourself? Emotions are transmittable; attitudes are too. Just be normal (without regard to gender).
- Be concerned for the store's well being. Trust me, this one rule is very important. You do not want them to lose customers or to have too much difficulty accommodating you. They don't need to lose money over you and they will reject you outright. If you are somewhat flexible then the store can be more flexible and supportive. If you care for them, they will care for you.
- If you treat the shopping experience as normal, the store people can hardly do less.
From the rules, you probably have noticed that I believe this is much like a negotiation, treating both sides fairly with no confrontation or demeaning efforts on anyone's part. Now let's get into the sequence of events.
- Call the first time and ask for a manager.
-
I suggest calling the
first time just so you are more comfortable. I have
done this whole thing face-to-face also.) The
manager can make the decisions for all of the staff
for when you arrive. Having the manager talk with
the staff means less confusion. In addition, the
manager may have a particular sales person in mind.
Besides, managers are more likely to know store
policy and you may be bending it. You may need to
make a couple calls to get all the kinks ironed
out. Don't expect everything the first time you
call, life just isn't like that. Once the process
has been established in terms of what you need and
what the store can do, then you may need to ask
about contingencies. What do you do if something
does not work as expected? What if there is to be
no help--don't let that happen. In addition,
clarify the return policy, you might be surprised
that the store/manager will make an exception for
you if necessary.
-
When you arrive, find the manager or the named salesperson -
"Hi, I'm "xxx" and I was to talk to salesperson/manager "yyy." The sooner you are face-to-face, the sooner things can happen. If you set a time to arrive, you should be prompt. They are being helpful; you should reciprocate. Once with the person, have that person summarize what is to happen. Don't be upset if it's not exact or complete. It will be worked out as the time goes on.
-
You're all set; execute the plan -
Enjoy yourself, but don't go crazy. Stay within the arrangement. Also, be cognizant of the other customers. You do not want to stand out. Remember if you scare off other customers, the store won't want you back. If your salesperson is curious, hey that's not so bad. It's a good time to educate someone and to be a good representative of the rest of us.
By the way, remember I said when talking with the manager to get clarification on the return policy? It just may be that you won't be able to execute the plan correctly on that particular day or that the store just cannot seem to find a suitable solution for you, but is willing to try when you're there. This is where the return policy comes in.
-
Closeout -
Whether you buy something is not the critical point of all of this. You (and the store) have set up a chance for you to try before you buy and possibly have a place where you can do it more than once. You should thank all the players who made the shopping experience possible. Call it "greasing the skids" for next time, but I just think it is a nice courtesy.
You don't think it works as I suggest? This is how it worked for me one day...
Bad girl that I am I was in a bridal boutique dreaming about owning some of the gowns they had. Well I had stopped in several times and this particular time it was mentioned to me there was to be a sale that weekend. All sales were to be final. Heck, I wanted a gown, but I couldn't chance buying it to find out it didn't fit. It was a salesperson that mentioned the sale so I asked for the name of the manager and when I should call back. I was, at the time, a bit nervous about talking face-to-face.
I called (unfortunately it took a couple tries, but eventually she had time to talk) and I told her my dilemma. I gave her a first name and mentioned I had been in a couple of times just in case she had seen me there. The time was too short to come in before the sale to try on some gowns and dresses, but she would allow me to come in after and I could get the sale price anyway. Well I showed up before the sale to "make my wish list" and the manager and I met face-to-face. She was willing to set aside my selections (it was only a few), but I told her not to do so, because if I didn't buy, she could lose a sale to another customer. I told her it was better to have the other customers get first try. At that point, I think I made a friend.
The manager and I arranged
I would come in on their slow night and we would try
this effort. I came in at the agreed time and the
manager had arranged for a salesgirl to help if I
needed anything. The salesgirl rounded up the gowns and
as this was going on, the manager and I were chatting.
She and I realized now that we were actually going
forward with me trying on gowns and that from our
face-to-face, that I was safe and sincere. As manager,
she could set things up so I could pay, but the sale
would not have to be final for me. She thought that
maybe I could just take the gowns home to try there and
then bring them back if they didn't fit. I almost
agreed, but she must have seen my distress and asked if
I really wanted to try them on there. I smiled and
said, "yes, it would be a lot easier to find the right
fit if I was right here. I could try on several without
all the trips." She agreed and aimed me at a secluded
dressing room just in case some one did come in and had
the salesgirl lined up to help me if I needed it. Only
one other customer came in while I was there and had no
idea that I was there to try on a few gowns. Well I
tried a couple; had a couple changed for another size
and was soooo happy, but nervous still. After all that
effort, I didn't find one I liked in a size that fit
right. This was so much better than all the possible
trips. I was forever hooked on try before I buy.
When we finished up for the night, the manager smiled and thanked me. She thanked me *smile.* No one acted as if I was any different from any other customer. I got the same good service others did. I thanked her and everyone working with me.
While the boutique was under the same management and the prices were still decent, I returned regularly such that they greeted me by name and let me know about upcoming sales. Over the three years they existed from my first time in, I had tried on gowns several more times. The ones on my site came from the boutique.